I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
