Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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