i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize