If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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