Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
