Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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