I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
