Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize