He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
