Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I accidentally had phone sex last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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