Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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