Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am available for nakedness
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
