You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
