I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
