i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
did i walk over a car last night?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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