incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i need some magic done to my vagina
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
