you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
