meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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