just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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