he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize