Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
