I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
