I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
