I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
