He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
