I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
