YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize