Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
