OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
