OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
