listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize