So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
