I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
