He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize