I cockslap morals
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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