i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
