Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
