by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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