Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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