we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
