Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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