I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
40s are totally the cure
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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