and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
