you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
