In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
