Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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