You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize