I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
