Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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