Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm having to shit out rocks
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