Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
