I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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