Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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