Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
