was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
