She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
