so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
