Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
