Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
