It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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