Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
