Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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