I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
