super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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