I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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