i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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