there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize