what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
