Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
