U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
