I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
