would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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