I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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