Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
