This is not my ceiling
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
