There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize