I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
