Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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